This is part two in my wedding advice series, for part one go here. Caught up? Good. Continue, friend.
3. Have your budget reflect what you care about.
we did much planning, my mom and I sat down and made a list of alllllll
the things we would have to take care of for the wedding and decided
which were most (and least) important. At the top of my list was
photography, reception decor, and the reception venue. Miles just wanted
the day to be all about Jesus. Good man. At the bottom of my list was
flowers. My dad got a say, ya know, since he was payin' for the whole
thang and all, and his most important details were food and music (he insisted we have a DJ - no iPod dock for this shindig). Prioritizing things at the beginning was so important and helpful!
next step in this should be to (1) set an overall budget and (2) set a
budget for each category accordingly. Our biggest budgeting mistake was
that we didn't do step 2. If you set an overall budget you'll think,
"Oh! That's plenty of money. No WAY we'll go over budget." And
then you'll be wrong. Very very wrong. Weddings are expensive, y'all. So
based on your priorities, say, "We're willing to spend 15% of our
budget on _________, 30% on __________, etc." (The Knot can help you
with this-just go here.) You'll thank me later.
4. Talk about expectations for the day with your fiance.
and I discussed what we wanted our wedding to be focused on, how we
were going to stay together during the reception (which errr didn't
really happen that well), and what our game plan was after the
reception. I even made a timeline for the day and sent it to him, but
even that wasn't enough communication (on my part and his).
morning of the wedding, I got up super early, was running around Durham
with my bridesmaids and setting up things at our reception venue with my
family, heck-some of the GoUrban girls even finished moving me out of
the girls house and into the house where Miles lived. It was super busy
but I enjoyed it so much because I got to see and hang out with everyone
I loved before the wedding.
Miles on the other hand wanted to
have a relaxing, Bible filled morning eating Bojangles biscuits while
contemplating the grandeur of marriage and the covenant he was about to
make, followed by smoking a Black and Mild with his groomsmen. So, you
can understand why he was more than a little upset when I called him and
told him the 17 errands I needed him to run and how our guests weren't going to have favors unless he sped over to pick them up. It wasn't because he was
refusing to help or thought I was nagging, his expectation of how the
morning was supposed to go was NOT at all how my morning (and by extension, his) was going.
Moral of the story: talk about the vision of the day as well as logistics.
Are you going to stay together at the reception? (We'd recommend it!)
What's your goal for the reception? (Do you want to make it around to
every single person and talk or would you rather break it down on the
dance floor? This was one of the biggest things we didn't talk about and
it made for stressed and incomplete communication during the
reception.) Are there specific instructions and a time table for the
reception? (I.e. is there a garter toss that the groom needs to know
about? If he doesn't know he might, I don't know, be talking to his
college roommate's parents, NO WHERE to be found while you awkwardly
wait in front of his massive group of friends while the DJ calls for him
repeated times. Not that I speak from experience or anything...)